I don't love you much, do I?
by Steph-Schell
Summary: "Did you ever think that maybe I'm not getting well? As in ever?" (INCEST WARNING AND CHARACTER DEATH)


"Morning sunshine."

Charlie laughed and then coughed. "I must look really bad."

"Why do you say that?" Miles frowned.

"Because you're being nice and bringing me breakfast in bed," she smiled.

"I'll have you know I'm very nice," Miles retorted. He set the tray next to the bed. "And this is not breakfast. This is lunch. Soup. The doctor says it's good for you."

"Lunch?" Charlie frowned. "Did I sleep that late?"

"You did but it was alright. You need your rest."

"Don't kiss me," Charlie warned as he leaned over. "You'll catch my germs."

Miles kissed her anyway. "If there are germs to be caught, I've already caught them. I've been taking care of you for the last six months, remember?"

"And you've been doing a great job," she agreed as he helped her sit up.

"Not that good a job," Miles muttered as he moved the tray. "Otherwise you'd be well."

"Did you ever think that maybe I'm not getting well? As in ever?"

Miles looked over her pale, gaunt form. He thought that every night. But he didn't' say that. "You're getting better," he insisted. "You look twice as good as yesterday."

"Which is still death warmed over."

"Don't talk," Miles said. "Eat. You need your strength."

Charlie was tempted to argue but she opened her mouth for food instead. Miles made her eat the entire bowl even though being up this long tired her out. "Miles, we need to talk," she murmured as she finished.

"Aren't you the one that always harps about getting dishes done as soon as their dirty?"

"They'll wait this one time."

Miles shook his head. "Now I know you're sick. You never let chores wait."

"Miles, please, put the tray down and come sit so we can talk. You can't run from this."

Miles pulled himself up. "I've never run from anything in my life."

"Liar," Charlie accused. "What was that bar I found you in?"

"Strategic retreat."

"Don't' make me laugh," she giggled. "You know it hurts."

Miles sat next to her once more. "I'd take it away if I could," he whispered.

"I know," Charlie smiled. "And I know you're scared."

"The kids need you," Miles insisted, taking her hand. "I'd be a shit parent without you, you know that."

"I know no such thing," Charlie retorted. "You're a wonderful father and those kids adore you."

"Because I have you to help. Charlie, I would be lost without you." He gripped her hand in both of his as tears began to brim in his eyes. "Please don't leave me, Charlie. I love you."

"I love you too," Charlie whispered. "Oh, Miles, I love you so much. And I hate that things have to end this way. But running away won't fix it."

"Fixed it fine with Bass.

"Did not."

"I will not devolve into five year old arguments with you. It's beneath me."

Charlie smiled. "I love you so much. Our children are going to be just fine."

"Please don't talk like that."

"Alright. The guitar is in the corner. Sing something to me, would you?"

"Sure." Miles grabbed the guitar and settled next to her once more. "I don't love you much, do I/Just more than human tongue can tell and that's all/I don't love you much do I/ Remember how I kissed you in the hall/ See how it sparkles in my eyes/ I couldn't hide it if I tried, that's right/ No I don't' love you much do I/ Just more than anything else in this whole world/"

"Keep going," Charlie insisted when he paused.

Miles swallowed. "I don't love you much do I/ Just more than all the stars in the sky/ I don't' love you much do I/ I think you hung the moon and that's alright/ See how it sparkles in my eyes/ I couldn't hide it if I tried, that's right/ I don't' love you much do I/ Just more than anything else in this whole world/"

"Just one more verse," Charlie begged, on the edge of sleep.

"I don't' love you much do I/ I'd follow you to hell and back again/ I don't love you much do I/ Just watch me light up when you walk in/ See how it sparkles in my eyes/ I couldn't' hide it if I tried, that's right/ I don't love you much do I/ Just more than anything else in this whole world."

Miles finished and looked at Charlie. She was still. Miles reached over to feel her wrist. Nothing. "No," he whispered. "No, please." He checked her neck, her heart and even listed for her breath. Charlie was dead. And Miles had to go explain to three children that they were never going to see their mother again. All he really wanted to do was put a noose around his neck.

* * *

The song Miles sings is called "I don't love you much, do I?" The version I listen to is by Guy Clark


End file.
